Needs

Needs can be thought of as resources that life requires to sustain itself.  Needs are indications of life.  The meeting of needs is the fulfillment of life.  

Living consists in being connected to needs and seeing they're met.  We can connect to our own life by seeing our own needs and getting them met.  We can connect to the life in others by recognizing their needs and meeting them.  

All people have the same needs.  Here is a list (not comprehensive) of needs by Marshall Rosenberg, professional peacemaker, from whose program I derive many of the ideas on this blog.

For needs to be met, they must be known.  The revealing of needs is called vulnerability.  "It's a gift when you reveal yourself nakely and honestly, at any given moment, for no other purpose than to reveal what's alive in you.  Just 'Here I am, and here is what I would like.'  This is my vulnerability at this moment." (1)  When we do this, our need can be met. 

We all have needs each day.  As these needs are met, connections form and grow with the one meeting them.  It feels good to have a need met, and it hurts to have an unmet need.  That's why they're called needs.  Because we are all connected through relation to God, we have needs only others can meet.  We also have a need to meet others' needs.  This is because we are all literally connected as family.   Since we share the same parts, it can rightly be said that part of me is in you, and part of you is in me.  Thus, "we can never really take care of ourselves without showing equal concern for the needs of others." (2)

Needs are the stimuli of our feelings.  A common mistake is to think that another person is responsible for my feelings.  But, while I may have a strong preference about who fills a particular need of mine, no specific type of need requires a specific person to fill it. 

We are our needs.  So, if someone completely fills my needs, they fill me.  They are in me, and if do the same for them, I am in them.  Two people who perfectly meet each others needs can be considered one as they completely fill each other.  There is no end to the building of bonds or meeting of needs.  There is no end to union.  

As our needs are met, including, and perhaps especially, to meet the needs of others, we fill the measure of our creation.  

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1. pg.146, Living Nonviolent Communication, Marshall Rosenberg.
2. pg.138, Living Nonviolent Communication, Marshall Rosenberg.